Valentine's Day

Love, Love, Love to you all.

I am writing this without much of a clue as to what will emerge. I usually write after writing! That is, I will do those morning pages...that dump of the mind's clutter and often critical voices...and then some nugget of a thought will start to make itself clear. But tonight I am winging it. Because, after all, it is Valentine's Day. The day of sweethearts? The day of the crazy culture putting expectations into our heads. I remember those days when I thought that there were tangible measures of love...like a gift, flowers (best only if delivered in front of others at work or somewhere), cards. Something to PROVE that love was there and I was actually being considered and thought of. Only made real by the knowing eyes of others.

But tonight, I got a tangible gift of a different kind. A visit. A visitor. A presence. The culture's agonizing litany of expectations has all but disappeared in this homecoming of a relationship. And tonight, there was another step closer. A stepping into my week of domesticity and mothering. A hand out to my child. Eye contact, the effort to make it, and to mouth the words "I love you."

Knowing your beloved is out there, living in the world, with thoughts of you throughout the day. That you are influencing their view of the landscape, as they are influencing yours. Wanting to be your best self. To even know the concept of "beloved." Beyond Valentine, lover or sweetheart. Not "just", but just, your touchstone each day.

Happy Valentine's Day to me.